View From The Ditch Bank

CAN YOU JUST IMAGINE? Flashing red and blue lights behind you and you pull over. Officer: "I need to see your license and registration and insurance papers. OK, I am citing you for littering and spreading a hazardous material on a public highway. You may choose to see a judge if you like." Driver: Well, I like.
Judge: How do you plead?
Driver: Not Guilty, Your Honor.
Judge: But the officer has the indisputable evidence.
Driver: May I present my defense, Your Honor.
Judge: OK go ahead
Driver: Well, it is like this. I saw an ad on TV for a brand of oil that would get me 30% better gas mileage, so I bought it and had it put in the engine of my car. Then I saw an ad on TV that said that their tires would give me 40% better gas mileage, so I bought them and had them installed on my car. Then I saw an ad in a car parts store for a spark plug that would give me 30% better gas mileage, so I bought them and had them installed in the engine. Then my dealer told me that if I would have their new improved air filter installed it would save me 15% on gas mileage, so I told them to go ahead. So you see, your honor, that added up to 115% better gas mileage and my car was making gas, so I had to remove the gas cap so the gas would have somewhere to go. And that is what the officer saw. If you need to blame someone, blame the advertisers that show all the savings that their products will bring about. And that's why I am not guilty. And that's the tale, er View From The Ditch Bank.