View From The Ditch Bank

WORDSMITH: I mentioned that phrase in a previous blog. Although I am not one, I do try, from time to time, to string a few words together in a somewhat coherent manner. But being the uneducated soul that I am, you really don't expect me to always express myself in a manner coherent. However, it is expected of those who string words together, in a sentence, for a living. I quote, now, from a recent front page article in our little country newspaper. the headline; COMMISSION HEARS PRESENTATION ON DEER PROBLEM. Well, straight forward enough, I guess. But it could beg the question's Are the deer being a problem, or are they causing a problem, or do they have a problem? The article will explain. A representative from the state game and Fish Department said, and I quote " The deer population has Exploded in the past few years in populated area, but not in the forest. Uh! dynamite explodes. Fire Crackers explode. Bombs explode. But the deer increase explode? I think the deer population would explode in a populated area! I guess, but I, in my uneducated view, would have said it increased. This representative then presented goals AND objectives to reduce the population. Meeting these goals would include reducing deer complaints ( wonder what they are complaining about ) minimize vehicle collision ( with deer, or other vehicles ) Minimizing human safety concerns and disease ( What? is there deer flu now? ) and reducing the number of residents who feed wildlife ( how do they propose to do that? you may ask. We will get to that. And educate the people that it is against the law to feed wildlife. To create a balance of people and wildlife there is "Hunting and predator/prey relationship." The article also states this; "Wildlife complaints include devastation of gardens and trees, and aggressive deer behavior. Oh! now the wildlife are complaining? The game representative also said that due to the large population of deer in people populated areas, there is also an increase in predatory animals, like mountain lions. to decrease this threat, traps could be set for the deer. to remove them from the people. Then the lions would follow. He also said that they would focus on the deer social groups, so they stay together. GOSH Maybe I should be a deer, then I could have a social life. In addition to trapping, he also said that hunting was an approved method. Hunters could get on a population control list. Uh Huh! In a people populated area. Oh! I guess that is how they are going to reduce the number of residents that feed the deer. When ask who takes care of the deer that have been hit on the highways, he said the highway department does. A highway department employee stated, I have picked up two in front of an elementary school, a McDonalds and a funeral home. Well, guess the deer wanted an education, then after eating at McDonalds, had to go to the funeral home to be taken care of. Well, there was much more to the article, and while all the quotes are accurate as written in the paper, this blog is a little tongue in cheek fun poke at the way it was written. While the article, and the problems and the solutions were understood, it just struck me as humorous that so many different interpretations could be made to the statements. Hope you got a little chuckle from this View From The Ditch Bank.