Monday, March 17, 2014
THE LANGUAGE WE SPEAK, EDITION 2
MY WIFE IS AN ALIEN: No, not really. But here is what happened. She went to town the other day to take a class. She also picked up a few things at the store, while in town. I stayed home and did some work in the yard. Now, I know she bought some things while she was in town, because she had plastic bags in her hands when she came home. You know the type of bags I'm talking about. Those plastic things that fly's all over the country side, with Wal-Mart, or some other company name on it. Yeah, those type of bags. She had some of them in her hands when she came home. Oh, sorry, I said that already. Well, when she got home, I came in to see if she needed any help with any thing. She said she did not, she had things under control. So I went back outside to finish up what I was working on. But shortly after walking out the door, I heard the phone ring, so I went back in to answer it, just in case my wife was busy, putting things away. She wasn't. Busy that is. She had already answered the phone when I walked in, so I started back out, when I heard her side of the conversation. She told who ever she was talkingt to that yes, she had bought some items while in town. I distinctly heard her say, and I quote "I bought two Honey Buns, Three Jelly Rolls and a Layer Cake and some Charm Packs." Unquote. Honey Buns, Jelly Rolls, A Layer Cake? Yum. I had been working and thought a snack would just hit the spot. Like a warm Honey Bun with some cold milk. Yep, that sounded about right. The Jelly Rolls and the Layer Cake could wait. Although I couldn't figure out why she would buy a layer cake, when she makes delicious cakes herself. And the charm packs. Well, she doesn't have a charm bracelet, so I had no idea what she was going to do with a package of charms, but didn't give it a lot of thought. I was concentrating on finding the honey buns. Yes siree Bob. Finding the honey buns was what I was doing, cause I couldn't find them. Any where. No Jelly Rolls or layer cake either. Not in the kitchen, not in the cup boards, not in the pantry. Not any where. I guess my wife heard me rustling around and since she had ended her phone call, she came in and ask me what I was doing. Looking for the honey ,buns, I said. I thought one would taste good right about now. I saw a little grin start but she controlled it and said What Honey Buns? The ones I heard you tell someone on the phone that you bought in town. Along with the jelly rolls and the layer cake. By then she had lost all control of the grin, and laughing, told me to follow her. I did, and in her sewing room she picked up a little roll of material and said, This is a Honey Bun. A larger roll of material, obviously cut into strips. This is a Jelly Roll. Some squares of material. Stacked up, This is a layer cake. A smaller package of squares turned out to be a charm pack. Man, I bet all those ladies in the quilting circle stay hungry all the time, working with material named after all that food. Or maybe they named the material after the food, cause they are too busy quilting to eat, so this makes them feel better. Who Knows? WELL, THAT'S THE VIEW, OR LACK THEREOF, FROM THE DITCH BANK.