View From The Ditch Bank

A TWISTED SENSE OF HUMOR---When there is nothing else to blog about, or at least nothing else that appeals at the time, this is what comes up. Things that you , Uh me, as in I, myself, finds humorous, if they were ever actually said. And I guess some of them wouldn't actually be funny. You decide.

1. Cop to Driver--I know you were speeding as you ran that red light, but since you didn't cause an accident, I'll give you a certificate for doing some good driving.

2. I am running for office and would like to be elected, but actually, my opponent is the better candidate.

3. TV Reporter at the anchor desk, telling about a current event---" now we will cut to the reporter at the scene for a dead report."

4. From a used car salesman---What kind of warranty does that used car have, you ask. You have to be kidding. We can't even guarantee it will make it off the lot.

5.From the public safety officer---I know it has been raining hard, and flash floods are likely, but go ahead and play in the arroyo--You can swim, can't you?

6. From the investment broker---Yes, it is a ponzi scheme. You'll just have to trust me to make money for you.

If you don't get them, well, that's just my twisted sense of humor. And That's The View From The Ditch Bank